You never know.

  Don't we all wish to be able to know a person's feelings full well? You know, so we aren't clueless of everything. So we don't always have to wonder. Knowing someone's feelings would be the greatest solution to so many goddamn problems in relationship, won't it? 

I sure as hell wish that I'm able to read someone feelings. Especially for me, I'm someone that tend to over think so much and I tend to think of the negative. And I really love to know the truth. I rather the truth than pleasant lies. I'm just that person. I hate not knowing for sure. 

I hate to have doubts. I hate that I need to constantly wonder on whether shit is true or not. I have just seen enough to know not to just believe words. Because people can be rather sly. People always say things they don't mean. People always lie. 

How are you suppose to just simply believe when someone tells you they love you? How are you suppose to believe when someone tells you they won't do this or that? I myself, have said things that I didn't mean. Countless times. Everyone has done that. It is bound to happen. There's just hardly a person that tells only truth. It's almost impossible. 

I really wonder, what it the key factor that makes a person believe something. Because it's believable? Because you want to believe? Because you choose to believe? 

How do you know, when someone tells the truth? Is it the sincerity in their eyes, is it the way they say it, is it because you're sure the person won't lie to you? We can only assume, we can only trust the person that says whatever they say, we can only believe. All these can't prove for real whether they REALLY mean it or not. 

So what makes us feel it is true? Actions? The things they do, maybe? The act of affection, I suppose. You know, just like how when you love someone; you just want to hug them so tight and never let them go? And that would make you think when someone hugs you tightly, does that really mean that they love you? Does affection means that they really love you? 

You'll just never know for sure whether they really mean it or not. You just have to take that leap of faith and trust what they say. That is why love scares me so much. You just stand there, let all your guard down, love that person whole heartedly and hope he/she does the same. And if he/she doesn't, what is left for you? Hurt. 

Doesn't that just sound so goddamn scary? Of course, looking at the bright side, if they feel the same, you get to be able to spend your life with someone you really love. And that itself, is the greatest joy. 

I guess it's just the game of love. How you have to just simply hope for the best. Because you know, it's either you break up with this person or you end up spending the rest of your life with him/her. And that is very frightening.