Writing.

  I guess writing is one of the best way for me to express how I feel. I've always been one who can't express my feelings well, especially directly talking to someone. Either I'm lost for words or I simply mess it up and end up saying things that isn't right. 

And so having this blog here, makes me feel a lot better. Writing the feelings I have that have never been told to anyone gives me a big sense of relief. I always keep things to myself, all the thoughts that run through my brain stays in there. I guess it's pretty unhealthy to do so. I still do talk to people that are closest to me about a lot of subjects that are close to my heart but seldom about my own feelings. And even if I do, it's just a tiny portion of it. 

Growing up, I was always the quiet one. My brother is the out going joker type and my sister is the friendly sweet bubbly girl. I suppose it was because I felt people wouldn't want to listen. That they are uninterested. Every time I tried to speak up, nobody listens. I used to never defend myself and now, if anyone does try to mess with me, I don't hesitate to stand up for myself. I guess doing a lot of self reflection has made me treat myself better. But I still have tons to improve on in regards to treating other people. That's for sure. Well anyway, I have realized that the people that love me do in fact care. So I do try my best to let them know how I feel. 

It's funny though, speaking of letting people know how I feel about things. When it comes to certain topics, I'm hell of a talker. I'm the type of person that really enjoys having meaningful long talks. Those means a lot to me. I love having a few close friends that I can really talk about everything and anything. I'm extremely lucky to have people like Jun Xiang, Jamie and Joel. They are like brothers and sister to me. They understand me and I feel extremely comfortable around them. They are the ones I know that I want in my life even after years and years. 

Not forgetting my wonderful family. Not many people can talk to their family as if they're friends. And I have that privilege. I love my family. We may not be a proper family or whatsoever, we have had our hard times but it has created an extremely strong bond between us and I truly feel grateful for that. To be able to talk to my mother about everything and anything is such a great thing. 

The fact that I have grown up this way, has definitely did some good sculpting to me as a person. Of course, there are the bad things. But for the good, it is definitely worth it. So the conclusion is, I'm grateful for the life experiences that has been given to me. And I'm sure there are much much more to come. 

I'm thankful for having wonderful people who love and support me regardless. You guys know who you are. Thank you all. =) <3

I will do my best.