Choices.

 This couple of days have been well, I can say rather life changing. After a long while of running away from my problems I've finally come to face them and to really find a solution. There's just been a lot of important decision regarding my life and what direction I want to go.

And honestly, for the first time in a long while I finally feel like I have a plan and that I like it. After all these years of just muddling through everyday just hoping I can get through to tomorrow, I finally feel like I know what I want. 

It's a bit frightening and I have absolutely no idea whether I'm making the right decision or not but it's definitely better than going through day by day doing absolutely nothing. I finally feel happy and motivated to do something. 

Right now, I'm happy. I have my family, the person I love, my amazing friends, my dogs; I am content and so goddamn thankful. I know I have people who support me and that really means so much to me. It feels so wonderful to know that people love me and I really want to do everything in my power to make them happy too. 

Life to me now, I'll just live in the now because I really have no clue what let's say 3 years is going to change and by the time I am 18 I wonder where I'll be and what I'll be doing. But I know I want to be happy. Which is what I want to be now. I don't want to force myself to do something I don't like. I want to enjoy life. 

I really do hope the choice that I'm making is right, for me at least. 

4/4/14 - 5/4/14

Drinks, amazing people, midnight swim. One of the best nights ever.

Happy.

 I just feel so extremely happy. So happy that I have you. So happy that I get to be the one to say I love you, to you. So happy that I can be a reason for you to smile. That I am someone that you love. I'm so happy to be the one that gets to say good night to you every night.

Because it's the little things that means the world to mean. It's every thought of you in the middle of the day that gets me feeling so grateful that I have met you. That I have you in my life and I am damn sure I'm not letting go.

You make waking up from a good dream something good because finally my reality is better than my dreams. Waking up and knowing you're there is just such an amazing feeling, knowing I love you and that you love me. Wow.

Words tend to fail me, and I'm running out of them. But I just wanted to say I'm so thankful for you. And that I love you.

Friday, 28 March 2014

 Friday, 28 March 2014. One of the best memories ever. Having an amazing dinner at a nice place with the people I love. Awesome conversations filled with laughter. That's what I call happiness.

Something that fills the heart.

 You know the feeling of something filling your heart? Not the suffocating way instead in a way that makes you feel complete. In a way that makes you feel hope and makes you feel alive again. The months and months of emptiness just disappears and you feel, love. 

You're afraid, of how absolutely wonderful this feeling is because every time something wonderful happens, next comes along the bad. But somehow, something inside tells you it's all going to be worthwhile. Something tells you taking a leap of faith and trusting your heart is right.

And if you don't, you know you're going to regret not chasing after love. Because love itself is what makes one whole, what makes one's life worth living and what makes one truly happy. 

Just a little something.

The soft brush of your hair against my face as you breathe into my neck.
The touch felt upon our fingertips as you slide yours across mine.
The sound of our beating hearts and the rhythm of our breath.
The depth of your voice and strength of your grasp.
All that was felt at that moment could never leave my chest.
For the feeling of love and hope is one never to forget.

Happiness.

  Sometimes, it's the simple things in life. That makes life worth living. The simple act of kindness, love and giving. It's the thoughts of wanting to make the people you love happy. It's seeing your love ones smiles. It's cuddling your pets. It's spending your day doing the things you love. It's the simplicity of just relaxing and having a meaningful chat with someone that you love. Or even, the serenity of silence.

It's all the simple things that makes me happiest. It's all these things that makes me feel like the luckiest person. It's these things that make me feel the most grateful for all the wonderful things that are blessed upon me.

And I thank everyone that gives me that happiness. Something I can never buy. Something that I will always cherish. Happiness can be simply achieve. It's just how you perceive happiness. At the end of the day, it's not the materialistic things, it's not the gift itself that matters. It's the act of that person giving you that gift that means the most.

It's the act of giving and seeing how that person smiles. And just from that, it's pure happiness that you will get. It's really just how you see happiness.