Honestly, I don't even know.

Why do I feel everything and at the same time nothing at all. It's the image of a tsunami rushing straight at me and I feel calm, too calm. As if all of these don't even matter and if I had none of it, I would be fine. I'll be alright. But will I happy? Am I even happy now?

I don't feel a sense of urgency and I don't think I ever will. But I simply can't stop thinking about it. It's right there, every minute of every day and I can't help but think. Yet it feels so temporary. Will I always feel this way? Or will this disappear and I'll be able to live my life in content.

Why don't I have a clear idea of what I want. I have every single fucking thing right in front of me right now and yet something feels amiss. It's no longer fulfilling and I don't know if it's something I want.

It's all just mindfuckery and if I had a choice maybe I wouldn't have had it the same way. It seems as though it affects me so much but I really would be fine without any of it. Maybe I should really take a step back and get a fucking grip.

How do I know what's the right thing to do? It feels as if it's a painted ceiling, of the sky and clouds and it's beautiful to look at; but it isn't real and you know that. It's easily appreciated though.

Imperfectly.

Life will never be perfect. It can never be. A perfect life is not what I live for. I live for the moments I deem perfect. The sunrise I watched and couldn't stop smiling to myself because it just felt so perfect. It surely wasn't, the ground was wet and there were strangers around. But it's the imperfections that made it so perfect for me. When mum and I held hands to sleep. Grocery shopping when I was just a little girl. Maybe it really wasn't how I remember it but I would like to believe it felt wonderful. When I begged mum I wanted chocolates and she said okay. Maybe it was the night we shared, songs playing from the macbook, an ashtray filled habit. The days when I woke before everyone else and had the whole house to myself. I would ravage the kitchen, pretending I was a cook show host then sit myself in front of the television. Feeling extremely contented. Some nights I sink myself into these perfect moments and wish to live them over and over and over again. But a tick of reality strikes and I come to my sense.

It's time to live new perfect moments. Imperfectly.

My 3 weeks in Sanur, Bali.

Hey guys! Soooo right after my birthday chalet (which lasted from 18th-20th) I was set to fly to Bali for 3 WEEKS!!! To be exact, 26 days. That is of course thanks to my boyfriend's mum who so kindly trusted her beautiful house/villa for us to stay and chill out and somewhat rejuvenate ourselves from the worries of ze Singaporean lifestyle. Anyway, this was the third time I visited Bali. And it'll be the longest I've ever been away from home and the first time Chris and I will be surviving on our own!

Needless to say, we were both anxious and bloody excited! Our flight was on the 21st that means after my birthday celebration, I had a day to pack and chill out with everyone. Unfortunately, when you're somewhere for 3 weeks you won't record/take picture of everything and anything especially considering the fact that I've already been there twice but I did try my best to snapchat as much as I could on my highlights.

So anyway! We were flying off on the 21st of May and luckily on the flight no one was seated beside me on the window seat so I finally managed to look out the window (As I've never sat on the window seat before) and get some photos. :P I also got to place my bag beside me so that was rather convenient.

I was quite 'suaku' and was so excited at how beautiful everything was!

We landed at night around 8++, took a cab over to the house and settled in for the night! We had pizza for dinner. Which over there it's like 10 bucks for one. The next day which is the 22nd, we had to go around sorting things out as Christian's parents were flying off and we will be alone in house for the next 2 weeks plus. So we went grocery shopping and all that good stuff.

By night time, we were officially on our own! So we cooked and sat at the bar. (We will ending up doing this every night and pretty much spending most of our time there for the whole trip)

*Square pics are from my Instagram.*

Presentation, maybe not so good but let me tell you it tasted fantastic! I'm lucky my boyfriend cooks well hahaha.

And of course Sandy wants some as well. Damn I love this little bugger! You just cannot not love her. She's sooo bloody cute!

And that was that for our 'first' proper day.
  Our adventure begins! 

I can't remember most of the stuff we did and I don't want to bore you with random shit so I'll just let the pictures do the talking. Or rather the pictures and my captions.

So I shall go by the dates!

23rd, if I'm not wrong we had our chiro session and we had jap food!
If you're ever in Sanur, Bali I really recommend seeing Lindsey at http://www.balichiropracticandmassage.com/

On the 24th we cooked again and this time I got to choose the recipe we were doing for the chicken! So I went researching and pitched the idea to Chris and it was Mustard chicken. It turned out absolutely fantastic and we ate that a few times more while we were there.

Mustard chicken, with spinach again.

25th.

View from our table at Cafe Batu Jimbar. Lovely food there.

 26th.

For dinner we had beef burgers at The Fire Station. The burgers are absolutely delicious. More on the pricey side but very worth it. 

27th.

We cooked once again and this time we did Mustard pork which was freaking awesome.

28th.

The view from the bed. Yes, you wake up to this everyday. Though at night it's very creepy. Chris and I got freaked out a lot by the dogs barking at nothing in the middle night. 

Awesome natural flare from the sun! hahaha.

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One of the things I told Christian I wanted to do this time was to see the sunrise at the beach. On the 7th of June we finally went and did just that!! I'm a sucker for things like that, it was definitely one of the most memorable experiences I had with Chris. I was so excited!! We didn't sleep that night and I waited for time to pass till it was around 5.30am, changed, Chris had his beer in hand while I had my bottle of coke and off we cycled to beach! We arrived rather early so we waited quite awhile but every bit of the wait was worth it to me.

It was such a beautiful sight, seeing the hue of the sky gradually change into a beautiful orange. It was a Sunday so the atmosphere was amazing. I was just absolutely in love. We took lots of pictures and I wanted to share them on here. :)

A shot of Chris when it was still really really dark! We found this perfect little spot!

 

Us tryin' to be artsy LOL. 

I was honestly just STARING at the very calm waves. The way it reflected the light shining through was just absolute beauty.

I looked like a hobo, I did. But I was one happy hobo.

A shot of Chris, after much persuasion.

My absolute favorite shot! 

Taken by Christian. He went back after we were about to leave just to take a last picture! All of these photos were taken using his Note 4 and I must say I am bloody impressed by the camera.

And so this was definitely the highlight of my whole trip! To me, it's things like this that makes life really worth living. I told Christian now that we've done this, I'm gonna make us go see all the sunrises around the world hahaha.

Another awesome thing I got to experience in Bali was Yoga. We had classes with Lisa who teaches Iyengar Yoga. Mostly focuses on symmetry and alignment as well as breathing. When practicing Iyengar we often used belts as well as blocks. That was something very new to me and I completely enjoyed it. I love how much it takes my mind off things and focus on my body and what it's able to do.

I had such a wonderful experience with it I honestly do wish to continue doing Yoga here in Singapore. 

Presenting to you, Luigi!! She's such a lovely girl. But with a depressing past that has made her quite protective and insecure at times but so so loving! 

And this is Shumba! The awesome Ridgeback that lives to kill cats. One night when we were sitting at the bar, a cat came into the house and almost got killed by him. At one point of time Shumba had the cat in his mouth. Thank heavens the cat didn't get injured but sadly Chris got bitten by the cat when he tried to get the cat out. It was hella scary. 

So this is the Carbonara we cooked (I prepped while chris did the real cooking) for Christian's parents the night they arrived as it was their Wedding Anniversary! Plenty sweet ei :P 

The cozy little gelato place we frequent very often for super creamy and fantastic gelato. One of the great things about Bali is that you get awesome ice cream for real cheap. This was taken on our last night so it was really bittersweet hahaha.

Breakfast/lunch at Cafe Batu Jimbar again the day we were flying off! I dyed my hair purple the night before using a dye I bought at Hardy's(supermarket) for like 90 cents!!

My rental bike which I LOVED. Oh and ring on my index finger from Christian's mum as a gift from South Africa. Love it! 

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Overall, my trip was really a learning experience. We had to be responsible, feeding the dogs every night, making food for ourselves, doing the things needed to get done at Christian's mum's atelier etc. One of the shittest things though, was getting by mosquitoes almost every night even after applying loads of insect repellent. Somehow I guess they really really liked me and even bit me on my eye after I've covered every other spot you could possibly think off. Little shits.

I'm also very very afraid of insects and well we basically live in a garden. The insects were definitely NOT fun for me. In the afternoon when all the bees come out to pollinate and the insects are happy and flying around is the time I hate most. We also had a funny experience with a flying cockroach in the middle of the night once. That was hilarious. I also killed a lizard with a drawer, ACCIDENTALLY. We gave him a funeral though. Named him toothpick because Chris had to put it out of it's miserable by horribly killing it with a toothpick.

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To sum this all up, I made a video using the bits and pieces of the snapchats I took while I was there!

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We had a bunch of funny experiences over the course of the trip and it was most definitely one of the best times of my life. I believe not everyone can just say fuck it and go overseas like that especially in Singapore and I am hella grateful I was given the opportunity to do so while I still can. I was able to learn new things and learn to be independent. All this wouldn't have been possible if not for Christian's mum and I am extremely grateful for the opportunity she gave me.

3 Weeks in Bali was amazing but we both couldn't wait to come home. For me, mostly because I didn't want to be massacred by mosquitoes every night. And pollinating bees... 

Quick Review : Simple Cleansing Facial Wipes.

Hi guys! So today I'm gonna be doing a review on the Simple Cleansing Facial Wipes. I just personally started using this I think a month or two back. If you know me, you'll know I'm bloody lazy and sometimes when you've makeup on and it's the end of a very long day you just don't feel like spending 10 minutes fumbling with cotton pads and make up remover just making sure your face is clean and free of makeup!

But... It is extremely extremely important to make sure you remove your makeup every single time at the end of the day as it is really bad for your skin to leave it on overnight. Our skin needs to breathe if not you'll end up with clogged pores and your skin will lose it's 'freshness' if I may. It will also increase ageing as it dulls your skin. 

There used to be days where I was just so so tired that I'll leave it on and let me tell you I wasn't wearing foundation or anything like that but the feeling of overnight makeup is really icky, oily and just plain horrible! So, try not to do that hahaha. ESPECIALLY if you wear foundation. 

So anyway, I've been depending a lot on remover wipes as it is so so convenient! It's every girl's dream to just remove everything easily with just a wipe. So my friend recommended me to try out the Simple wipes and so I'm gonna do a review with my utmost honest opinion.

Before I start, I have combination sensitive skin so that's something for you to keep in mind while reading this review!

So shall we get on with it? 

To start it off, the product claims to have 2 vitamins(pro-vitamin b5 and vitamin E), no alcohol and no artificial perfume or colour. Also apparently removes waterproof mascara.

Sorry it looks horrendous as it's been heavily used and I'm left with one last wipe if I'm not mistaken. 

Packaging

It comes in a very normal plastic packaging. Nothing special really, it's simple. :P But I would prefer for any remover wipes to come in a sturdier more 'airtight' sort of container as it'll retain the wipe's moisture better and that is pretty crucial.

 Texture

The texture of the wipes are quite similar to the Nivea Cleansing wipes, a little bit softer but it still feels rather rough. I've tried the Nivea wipes and it is rather harsh and quite unpleasant on the skin. 

How does your skin feel afterwards? 

For me my skin feels cleansed and refreshed afterwards. It doesn't feel oily or dry or sticky at all so you won't feel a need to wash your face afterwards or anything like that.

How well does it really work? 

It does the job. It removes my eyeshadow in just two wipes. It doesn't completely remove waterproof mascara and you need a bit of work to get rid of most of your mascara. Compared to the Nivea wipes, the Simple wipes definitely feels better on the skin and removes makeup better I feel. But if I were to compare this to the Biore wipes it's definitely not anywhere near good. Biore wipes are more expensive but also much better. 

Overall, I would recommend for more sensitive skin, everyday makeup removal and price. 

TLDR? 

Packaging - Nothing to boast about. 

Texture - Soft but still feels quite rough on the skin if more strength is used. 

Smell - Nothing to rave about or complain about. 

Removing power - Pretty decent, worth it's price. 

Rating - 3/5. 

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And yes! That's about it, quite a lengthy post but I hope this helped if you're deciding on whether you would want to get the product or not. Everything written is my honest opinion, that I promise. Thank you for reading! 

My First Photoshoot!

Hi guys! So thanks to my sister, she introduced me to Ricky who was willing to shoot me for my first photoshoot! As that day, Ricky was going to shoot my baby nephew Tyrael and so we all went together. :)

I was a tad nervous before that, I mean it's not easy getting used to being in front of the camera. If it was me 3-4 ago I would be terrified! I was a very very shy girl but that would be a story for next time hahaha. So anyway, I decided on both my outfit and makeup myself with a bit of help from my sister.

I had rushed to get the perfect floppy hat just a day before the shoot! Thankfully I managed to find one at forever 21. So the outfit details -
Hat - Forever 21
Blouse - Berskha
Skirt - Given to me, I think.
Heels - 10 bucks at a flea!

So yes! Do enjoy the pictures guys! Thanks to Ricky Quah for capturing these shots that I really really love and making my first photoshoot experience an extremely pleasant one indeed. :)

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 Before taking this photo, I was holding on to one of the flowers and I accidentally plucked it off. After which I apologized to the flower/tree and Ricky started laughing at me. 

This photo too had a funny backstory! To take this photo I had to walk a couple of steps and turn but

i focused so much on my turning and hand placement that I forgot to smile hahaha. 

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So that's it! If you were to ask me to choose one as my favourite, honestly I can't. I love them all! The way Ricky works with his camera is effortless. It was really great working with him! :) If you're interested in his works you can check him out on Facebook 'Ricky Quah'. 

I guess that's all for this post, next one coming up will be about my second photoshoot experience!

February Highlights

Now that we're welcoming yet another month, I thought I shall do a February Highlights post! Some rather personal pictures from last month to sum it all up. It's my life as it is. Two months has passed quite fast to be honest. I've changed so much comparing me from a year ago. 

So far, this year has been going pretty well I would say. Surprising my brother by getting him the graphic card he wanted overnight was the best. Chinese New Year i felt, brought my family closer once again. Well, I'll let the pictures do the talking. :>

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10th - Our little celebration for my brother of which he had the biggest surprise ever when he opened his birthday present. :P 

Imitating each other. Like father like son.

Polaroids taken on the day Ant and I went to my dad's side to bai nian.

Pussy willow. (hehe)

Our little early dinner where we lou hei-ed with the $30 fish. Apparently it's tradition to cantonese to have a sumptuous meal on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year.

Supper the night after. If I recall correctly. 

 Taken on our Karaoke night/getting to know Ashley night :P

My valentine's present. :)

 Our matching lamb shirts which has a pretty stupid backstory to it. 

I shall end the post with a picture of my majestic Cat, Creamy. :)

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And so, that's about it! Till next time doods.